There once was a boy named Ryan.

We met in kindergarten.

I’m pretty sure it was my very first day of school ever when Ryan walked up to me, an adorable ginger kid with a naughty look in his eyes…and lifted up my dress.

I was livid.

I cried.

Ryan, who really did sort of look like this…


…continued to torture me for the remainder of kindergarten, lifting my dress almost daily and making me cry. My mom talked to my teacher, and then to his mom, and still, Ryan persisted with his dumb “Big Meanie” behaviour.

Did he change in grade one?


Grade two?


Grade three?


Grade four?


And then I left the elementary I was attending – not because of Ryan, mind, but for other reasons – and moved to a new school.

But years later, when we finally reconnected, Ryan and I clicked instantly.

No, we didn’t.

Ryan was always mean to me, and he remained that way. I just creeped his Facebook profile about five minutes ago, and while I’m well aware that I’m severely biased, it seems like he hasn’t changed much.

So yes, sometimes little boys (and adult boys, for that matter) pick on girls when they have a crush on them, but also – and here’s the lesson – sometimes kids are just dicks.


(Give these girls like, five more years to realize how cruel girls can be to one another, am I right?)

SIDENOTE: If I watch that GIF loop over enough times, I feel like I’m gonna barf.


P.S. Don’t worry, I’m not still sitting in my life thinking about Ryan and his douche-baggery. This post came about while I was brain storming about first day of school memories, sparked by the fact that today is the beginning of September.

Speaking of, I am cheering on all of my friends who are teachers. You guys are already working hard and soon you’ll also have to deal with children. I commend you.