This is going to be scattered because I feel scattered.
On Thursday, AKA The Longest Day at Work Ever That Made Me Partially Insane, I was sitting in my office, having a chat with my 19-year-old coworker, who is about to start another year of his undergrad degree.
I wish I could tell you the exact context of our conversation, but I think I blocked it all out after he said something along these lines:
“I’m just going to finish my degree and get a job and then I’ll pay off all my debt quickly and be fine.”
And I looked over at him, stunned into silence, and then I said:
“And what is totally crazy is that in your world, that’s a totally realistic hope. Because when you finish your degree, you’ll have jobs to choose from.”
“Right, I guess it’s different in the arts.” he replied.
I wasn’t even sure what to say.
“There are jobs you can choose from,” he joked, “Like retail jobs, or you could be a bartender…or a server…”
I let out a sharp, short laugh. It had the same emotion behind it as the “WOW.” in this post, even though I know that my coworker was just razzing me. My office mate instinctively started moving toward me, wheeling his chair up to mine.
“I have a master’s degree. I HAVE A MASTER’S DEGREE, guys.”
And then my office mate hugged me and I wanted to die.
Sometimes working at my science job is like:
And it makes me feel like this:
But then maybe one person tells me they read something I wrote and it moved them, or they say something crazy like, “You should write books!” or they tell me I’m funny and I should act in things.
And I just think, you know what? You really do have to make your opportunities. It’s time to stop being scared. Or rather, to stop letting the fear keep me back. It’s time to embrace it, harness it, and let it be the thing that pushes me forward. Because when you’re scared and you start running, you can’t really stop, can you?
(You can’t because the monster will get you.)
Run. Run. Run
Just be you.
Here goes nothing.