It’s been a stressful day so far and I didn’t eat enough breakfast, both of which make any normal human being want to put food into their mouth, so I pulled out the snacks I brought to work: baby carrots and hummus. Typically, I would sort of portion these things out – you know, a Ziploc bag of baby carrots and a tiny container of hummus – but I was late for work this morning, so I threw a whole bag (like the bags they’re sold in) of baby carrots and a whole container of hummus into my lunch bag.

And that, my friends, is where I went wrong.

CUT TO: Approximately one hour later.

My stomach


is so full of carrots, I can’t even tell you. The bag is gone. I ate them all. My stomach is probably even that orange because CARROTS and it’s definitely not smiling because UGH BARF TOO MANY CARROTS.

Lesson learned: Too much of a good thing is totally a thing.


P.S. Can you mentally will yourself to digest faster? Not you specifically. Can one mentally will one’s self to digest faster? BRB have to Google something…