On more than one occasion in the last…almost 10 months, I have said, “Wow, so you read my blog and you still like me, hey? That’s cool.”

Yes, maybe I’m being sarcastic, although I have said and done some weird shit. I’m not like, ashamed of any of it or else it wouldn’t be on my blog. (Just imagine all the crazy shit I don’t tell you about, AM I RIGHT?)

So today I thought, what the hell? Let’s get a little weirder, Andrea. What’s the worst that could happen?

I would like to confess a secret fantasy of mine.

There are two reasons it’s been on my mind lately.

  1. Last week, I was at the gym with my BFF Jo and we saw a guy lifting 540lbs.
  2. Today I came across this photo (and hilarious BuzzFeed article) in which Hugh Jackman is deadlifting approx. 460lbs.

Guys, I’m just going to come out and say it.

For as long as I can remember – long before fitness was a major part of my life – I have always wanted to be bench-pressed. As in I want to lay flat as a board while some guy bench presses me.


Like this, except instead of the bar, it’s me, and the guy would definitely have to be bulkier because I’m way heavier than I look.

I know what you’re thinking, so I’d like to clear the air right now and tell you all that there is nothing even remotely sexual about this fantasy. I wouldn’t tell you about my sexual fantasies without you at least taking me to a movie and fooling around or something.

It’s just something I’ve dreamed about since I was a kid.

When Jolene pointed out that Gym Guy was lifting 540lbs, I literally blurted out, “He could bench press multiples of me!!!” and then I considered finding a way to ask him if he would try, but based on the expression on Jo’s face, I decided not to and instead tried to explain my fantasy.

(Luckily BFFs don’t judge.)

I wish I could explain it, but I can’t. I’m just going to keep holding out hope that one day, some guy’s gonna be like, “Hey, wanna try something kinda crazy?”

And it’s gonna happen.

And it’s gonna be glorious.

And hopefully he won’t think I’m gonna put out just because he bench-pressed me.

Because that would be awkward.

Lesson learned: I could always get a little weirder. (Or maybe we just all have weird random fantasies.)

Soooooo, anyone have anything they’d like to share?


P.S. Seriously, don’t leave me hanging, guys.