To really appreciate today’s life lesson, you need to read the last wee bit of yesterday’s post…
Are you really too lazy to click over?
Okay, fine – I’m gonna help you out.
“That was the day I learned – you guessed it – to answer my mom when she called me, lest she have a full-on call-the-FBI-freakout.”
(I’m a Libra – there’s always an exception to the rule, y’all.)
I had found it. The perfect hiding spot.
(No, I wasn’t sitting on the toilet, smart ass. My mom had totally learned to check there for me every time I went “missing.”)
I was in the linen closet.
You might think, “DUH, Andrea: that’s the easiest hiding spot ever,” but it had never really occurred to me. You see, it was pretty jam-packed. I had never seen the possibility before.
But on this particular day, I had a stroke of genius, I guess. I moved some of the folded towels and bed sheets up to a higher shelf and I crawled into the closet, leaning back on all of the fluffy linens, my feet pressed against the inside wall of the closet, my knees crunched against the underside of the shelf above me.
How had I never done this before? I mean (A) I was in a closet, which gave me an immediate advantage, (B) I was on linens – linens, people! – and (C) should I suddenly realize that I really had to pee, I was right next to the bathroom. Everything about this was right. Hell, I could have fallen asleep in there. I think I almost did at one point.
The thing that kept me awake was my own smug satisfaction. My mom was once again calling out my name and I was 100% out of sight. She would never find me here. I was, without a doubt, the best hider in the history of Hide and Seek. Sucker.
My hubris was my downfall, of course. My mom got into the hallway where the closet was and called my name. And I couldn’t help myself. I started to giggle and how much she sucked at this game.
“Andrea?” my mom called again, trying to place the source of the giggling.
I knew I had been found. It was good while it lasted. I threw open the closet door and rolled onto the floor in a fit of laughter.
Best. Hide and Seek. Ever.
So, the lesson here is that you should always answer your mom when she’s calling you, except when you’re totally kicking her ass at Hide and Seek.
P.S. Just so you know – in case you haven’t played much Hide and Seek – once you’ve found the perfect hiding spot, it’s all over. You get one moment of glory, because after that, everyone’s gonna check the perfect spot first, every single time. I learned that the hard way.