So a couple weeks ago, this happened:

Hit on?!I talked it over with some people (see: Facebook, but also my BFFs via text – more important), and it was definite flirting. It went down at work. I don’t directly work with this guy, but I see him a couple times a week.

After The Incident, I was totally flattered, but I mean, it was a simple little compliment. Some of my friends were already assessing our non-existent relationship.

“So he’s into you, but are you into him?”

“Is he hot?!”

“Do you looooooove him?!”

To be honest, I was pretty indifferent. I barely know the guy. He’s nice and pretty handsome and everything, but I’m not super attracted to him, and I literally see him sitting behind a desk at a boring office job, we smile, say hello, and then I leave.

The verdict: I’ll give him a chance to try to get to know me.

So I saw him once last week. I will openly admit that I was being pretty girly about it and made sure I had a good outfit on. I didn’t go out of my way. I just wanted to be sure I was outfit confident.

(Remember, I could go to work dressed as a clown and no one would notice. I still put effort in on a daily basis, but we all have our off days, like this one day I realized I was wearing a summer outfit with winter boots and felt angry at myself all day for it. Such a mismatch. And not in a cute way.)

(But I digress.)

I walked into his office. It went like this:

ANDREA: Hello!


ANDREA places a handful of papers into WORK GUY’s inbox tray.

ANDREA: Have a great day!

WORK GUY: See ya.

Uneventful. Disappointingly so. “What, no compliment?” I thought to myself. “No big smile? No obvious joy at seeing me wonderful me in a good outfit – walk into his office?”

Well, that sucked.

And this is where shit started to get weird. I found myself thinking about him a little more often. I found myself thinking things like, “He is pretty cute.” and, “I wonder how he’ll react next time he sees me.”

So then yesterday, I had to go to his office again. It went like this:

ANDREA: Hello!


ANDREA places a handful of papers into WORK GUY’s inbox tray.

ANDREA: Have a great day!

WORK GUY: See ya.

I left, disappointed yet again. But as I walked back to my own office, I found myself feeling more attracted to this guy. “He’s really attractive,” I told myself, “I want him to like me!

OBVIOUS SIDENOTE: He did not get any more attractive from day one to yesterday. He’s still just him. Handsome, but I’m not super attracted to him.

Less than an hour later, I was on my lunch break reading Sarah Colonna’s book, Life as I Blow It* on my Kobo –



It was just a really slow day at work. I was reading on work hours.


Anyway, she was talking about some past relationship and said something along the lines of, “he was completely ignoring me, so of course I was in love with him,” and I was like HOLD UP.


I do that.

Suddenly, my “dating” life flashed before my eyes.

SUMMARY: All of the guys I’ve had “relationships” with have been either (A) completely disinterested assholes, or (B) completely obsessive (see: literally scary) stalker types.

I have a serious tendency to let myself get strung along by guys who act like they’re really into me, then vanish (physically and/or emotionally) for days, weeks, months.

And you know what?


Lesson learned: Recognize the pattern and BREAK IT.



*Really good. Read it.