I did this annoying thing when I was a kid.

Well, okay, first of all, I did a lot of annoying things when I was a kid, and secondly, it (hopefully) started out as a cute thing and just gradually became (mild to intensely) annoying.

I ran a library out of my home.


What does that mean, you ask?

The first step was to clear the actual library out of library books. I LOVED the library. We went to the library as a family every Saturday, and every Saturday I would take out the maximum number of books I was allowed to borrow on my library card. (Having my own library card is something I was very proud of.) Then sometimes I would make my mom and dad use their library cards, too. You know, in case I really needed those extra five books or whatever.

Then I would bring all of the library books home, pile them into giant stacks in the living room – along with my own books, of course, because I needed as many books as possible – and open for business.

Business wasn’t booming, though, so basically, I had to force my family to play along.

I would make my victim family member choose a giant stack of books, and then I would check the books out for them. I used a pen (with the cap on – heaven forbid I damage an amazing book!) as my scanner, because they had a pen-shaped scanner thing at the library in my brother’s school, and I would make everyone use their real library cards, too.

I’m not entirely sure why this was so fun and exhilarating for me. I think my favourite part was running the pen along each book’s bar code and going, “BEEP!” Regardless, I would work my way through the giant stack of books, thank my guest, push the books off to the side, and make my victim family member start all over again.

The game would have never ended if it were up to me. But eventually my library would get shut down by a parent who was sick of hearing me go, “BEEP!”

Reflecting on this game taught me that I am definitely on the right path. Based on the kid I was (OBSESSED WITH BOOKS AND STORIES AND EVERYTHING HAVING TO DO WITH BOOKS AND STORIES!!!), it only really makes sense for me to be a writer now. Either that or a librarian, I guess.


Maybe I should have been a librarian. It probably pays more than nothing.

Oh shit.


P.S. Thinking about scanning all those bar codes got my blood pumping a little bit today, at age 26, so clearly something is wrong with me.