Ladies, we’ve all done it, so don’t even try to deny.


The fake boyfriend.

Hopefully we don’t take him places, but we’ve definitely all brought him up. Maybe to be a dick to an ex-BFF (not proud of it), but more likely to get rid of some creepy dude who is putting the moves on us.

FOR THE RECORD: I’ve never made out with a cardboard dude.

………Okay, I did used to make out with my posters of Leonardo DiCaprio.



Fake boyfriends. So yeah, what I’m saying is that I’ve used them in the past as a way of getting out of a creepy conversation (again…).

But I’ve also used them as a method of saying “no” when being asked out by non-creepy dudes I’m simply not interested in. And to be honest, I thought that was a totally fine thing to do until recently.

Because recently, I’ve been throwing caution to the wind and asking guys out when I want to go out with them. And it has yet to go well for me. I mean, one of them was just like, “I don’t think we should,” and that was totally cool with me. But a couple others have been like, “Oh…I have a girlfriend.”

Only they said it in such a way.

Like, an it’s-obviously-not-true way.

And you know what? It hurts. I mean I’m not gonna go stand on a ledge or anything – I’m not even going to cry about it – but it’s like, why not just say “I don’t think we should go past friendship,” or, “I don’t think of you in that way”?

Basically, grow a pair, because I have. And don’t use my game on me, because I’ve decided to stop using it.

Lesson learned: If it hurts when the tables are turned, don’t do it to people anymore.


P.S. I just Googled the words “cardboard boyfriend” to find all of the above images, so if one of them is you or someone you know, sorry, but…