I was trying to blog about a bunch of different stuff for my post today, and everything kept coming out negative.

And not like, normal negative. Like, why-does-it-sound-like-she-hates-the-world? negative.

I’m just having one of those days where I’m way too stressed out, I’m Pfrustrated (which is my new word for being frustrated at my fucking leg injury), and I have way too much on my plate, and therefore everything is making me Sangry (sad + angry).

Oh, also, I have PMS. So that’s not helping.

So when someone asks me a question, I’m like:

NOSFERATU

And I’m finding myself reading through people’s Facebook status updates and it’s like:

“Jane Doe is having a bit of morning sickness today, but I bet I’ll want a cupcake in a couple hours!”

And I’m like, “SHUT UP ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY!”

(And also: “GET YOUR VERB TENSES RIGHT, DUMBASS!”)

And it’s like:

“Jane Doe is having such a beautiful Monday!”

And I’m like, “NOBODY’S THAT HAPPY, YOU LIAR!”

And it’s like:

“Jane Doe is trying to be patient, but when will this snow finally melt?!”

And I’m like, “SHUT UP ABOUT THE FUCKING SNOW!”

And I was just out running some errands and wanted to be like:

SCARLET

To everybody. Even people who had nothing to do with anything I was doing.

And then I was driving home and I got stuck waiting for a train, and the guy behind me was biting his nails, so I was like, “THAT’S FUCKING GROSS!” as if he (A) could hear me, and (B) would give a shit what I think, and then I noticed the guy next to me was picking his nose and I think I blacked out for a second because I couldn’t even.

And then I got home and Oscar and Lucy were ALL OVER ME wanting attention, and I got really frustrated and yelled at them. And then they looked at me like this:

PERFECT FACE

AND I CRIED.

So today the lesson I have learned is that sometimes, it’s just good to stay away from people.

PRETZELS

I DO! I DO WANT A SOFT PRETZEL. But you know what?

I CAN’T EAT GLUTEN.

WHY ME

WHYSOB

…….How’s your Monday going?

xA

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