I spent all winter* being as careful as possible around the ice because I’m paranoid of slipping and hurting myself. (And I’m pretty stellar at slipping.) I mean firstly, I don’t want to get hurt, and secondly, at one of my jobs, I’m a fitness instructor, so I have to stay mobile and all that.

And then I got a wonderful (see: FUCK!) overuse injury.

Well, my knee is an overuse injury, and then I have a soft tissue injury in my shin and calf. These have been caused by a number of factors. It’s not something I really want to go into at this very moment. All you need to know is that my osteopath was trying to figure out what my problem was, and when she grabbed my knee, she was like, “Yeah, that’s not where it should be – and what the hell is this?!”

(Not words you really want to hear in reference to your skeleton.)
(Not words you really want to hear in reference to your skeleton.)

(For the record, it was my tibia, jammed up in behind my kneecap, which was rotated and facing the inside of my leg. Beautiful! I am a work of art!)

My left leg is over me right now. It’s well annoyed, shaking its leg-head at me, pulling on an eye mask or something, and going down for a long fucking nap.

So I’m pretty (see: very) sad. And frustrated. And worried. And frustrated. And sad. And worried.

I’ve decided to be a responsible adult and take some time off any high impact workouts/teaching. As of now, I’ve scheduled myself two weeks. It may be longer, but I’ll have to cross that bridge when I get there. I know this is something I need to do in the now to avoid being in pain and/or completely fucking myself for forever.

I’m trying my best to stay positive, which is, of course, a challenge.

On one hand, I’m like, come on, body, we were on such a good pain-free (well, relatively speaking) roll there!

All through my life, I’ve dealt with varying kinds of excruciating physical pain. I know I’ve already mentioned spending a great portion of my childhood and teenage years in crutches due to Osgood-Schlatter and Sever’s Disease. Sometimes I would go to the doctor when it got really bad, and they would take X-Rays and say, “How are you walking right now? You should be in a wheelchair.”

When things finally settled down with that, I spent a number of years battling severe back pain due to my spinal rotation. When that got really bad, my rotation was so sharp that my vertebrae were crushing my own nerves between them. I don’t remember much of the year or so when that was happening. I know that I could barely sit through one class at university or a couple hours of work without wanting to vomit and/or cry or having a back spasm. And that I was taking a disturbing amount/mix of Advil and Tylenol that, according to my doctor, should have been making me very sick. Oops.

But on the other hand – the positive one, A.K.A. the one I should be focusing on – I’m like, okay, I made it through all of that, so surely this won’t stop me. Right?

This is teaching me lots of things – like my patience is even thinner than I thought – but for the purposes of today, I’m gonna say that what I’ve learned, and what I should have learned a while ago, is that I’m tougher than I think.

My leg is stuck with me, so we’re going to learn to get along.


P.S. Still open to smile/laughter inducing links/movies/etc. to brighten my days!

P.P.S. Sometimes I swear a lot.

P.P.P.S. Maybe I should just become Cherry Darling.


*Should I even say that like it’s over? Because it’s fucking freezing and snowy outside. Thanks, Canada!