When I was on the soccer team in grade school, yeah, I liked to kick the ball – mostly because I thought I could kick really hard and it made me feel like a superhero watching it fly – but I also liked to chit chat with my friends, who were more into picking dandelions than scoring any points. Sometimes we would even sit down to chat. In the middle of the game. My parents called these our “soccer tea parties.”
This story sums up a lot about me.
(A) I like to do things I’m good at.
(B) I like to do fun things.
(C) I like my friends.
(D) I like chatting.
(E) I AM NOT COMPETITIVE.
I don’t really dig on team sports because I don’t really care who wins. I LOVE playing board games, but I don’t play them to win. I play them because they’re fun. I don’t set out to kick everyone’s ass, and I’m not gonna be a dick when I lose and throw a fit.
And I’m not just talking about games, guys. I’m talking about life.
I am a firm believer that you can have great success in life by being kind to others and helping people out when they need it. I don’t think that you have to stomp on other people and their dreams and climb over them to get to the top – that’s bullshit.
Unfortunately, that’s how a lot of people function. And it’s become a weird trend in pop culture – for women especially – to have these bizarre, competitive love-hate relationships.
Don’t get me wrong, y’all. I think Bridesmaids is genius. It’s one of my favourite movies. But the initial relationship between Annie and Helen is exactly what I’m talking about. (Which is exactly the point, I think.) The whole “frenemy,” competitive about looks, class, talent, etc. thing that’s going around. It’s funny when it’s happening in comedy, but it’s not when it’s happening in real life.
And it happens a lot. Even when you – meaning me – are actively trying to avoid it. Even when you – meaning me – thought you walked away from a lot of it quite a while ago. Like, say, a year ago.
Ladies, here are things I don’t want to compete with you about:
- Who’s prettier
- Who’s more talented
- Who’s busier
- Who’s better friends with ___________
- Who’s more stressed
- Who works out more often
- Who’s more popular
- Who eats healthier
- Who reads more
- Who has more friends
- Who’s more tired
- Who’s more broke
- AND SO ON.
I know what (some of) you are thinking. You’re thinking, “Who the HELL would argue about this shit?”
MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY.
Lesson learned: I am done playing bullshit emotional games with other women.* / I AM THE LEAST COMPETITIVE PERSON IN THE WORLD.**
P.S. Full disclosure, if you read this and worry it’s about you, it’s probably not. And if you read it and go, “Yeah, geez – those competitive ladies are EXHAUSTING,” it might be about you. Sorry(ish).
*Why can’t we all just encourage one another to do our best and help one another succeed and be amazing? Seriously! SRSLY.
**Okay, maybe not in the world, but honestly.***
***Except with myself. I am CRAZY competitive with myself. (And I think that’s healthy.)