It may be that every time I go to my new job, I do something stupid. Like maybe that’s just what fate has in store for me.

Yesterday afternoon, I had to stop in at the office to complete a mandatory building orientation. Because I didn’t want to pay $1/5 minutes (!!!!!) in the lot I usually park at (it’s much cheaper for a day rate, but I was only gonna be there for an hour), I decided to park at a metre on the street ($3.50 for the hour)  and just walk to my building. Great.

Well, it snowed a ton last night (as it tends to do in Canada) and the plows were out, so as I drove down the street I needed to park on, all I saw was a big mound of snow, and then a cleared area, which I thought was a row of blank patches left behind by cars that were parked when the plows went by. So I found a well-located metre, barreled my way through the mound of snow, and pulled right up next to the metre.

Success.

I was a few minutes early, so I got my iPhone out and started checking my email, etc. I didn’t want to be the awkward girl sitting by herself in the lobby, so I figured I might as well stay in my car as long as possible before walking over. I saw a girl walking down the street toward me. It seemed like she looked at me and laughed, but I didn’t recognize her, and I couldn’t see any reason she would be laughing at me, so I went on with my emails. No big deal.

Then she got closer and something seemed off. Wait…

Then she got RIGHT UP TO MY CAR and started laughing/looking bemused and pointing at me.

Guys, I was parked ON THE SIDEWALK.

(Oh the joys of snow being everywhere.)

The girl continued past my car, shaking her head, and I started scanning the street for a free parking metre that was not located in a freaking SNOWBANK. I spotted one about half a block ahead, put my car in drive, and drove off.

About three feet.

Because then my car sunk off the sidewalk and into the freshly plowed snow. And then I was buried. No getting out.

I put my car in reverse and went back up the sidewalk, then forward again. Stuck.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” – me, to myself, in my car, buried in snow, halfway up the SIDEWALK.

A few moments later, a van slowed down behind me to let me merge into the lane. I threw my hands in the air and motioned at them to keep going because I was stuck. The guy in the passenger seat immediately jumped out to help me. Then a woman who was walking by stopped to help him help me.

They ALL looked at me like I was a complete fucking moron.

I couldn’t blame them.

Seriously, though, world, what will it be today?

Lesson learned: the universe clearly wants to keep me humble. And wants for everyone I work with/near to think I’m totally stupid.

xA

P.S. At least it wasn’t this bad:

I survived the Chicago Blizzaster of 2011!
I survived the Chicago Blizzaster of 2011!

P.P.S. I was still totally on time for my orientation.

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