Don’t you hate when clichéd phrases are true?

Take, for instance, “the grass is always greener on the other side.”*

I write across a lot of genres and forms. I started out as a child trying to write novels, then developed into a teen who liked writing short stories, novellas, and plays, and now I write all of those things (not that they’re all published, haters and doubters) and then some. Like this handy-dandy blog!

I think this gives me a different, though not neutral, stance on how writers from different forms and genres relate to and see one another’s forms and genres. (Did that make sense? I never said I was good at what I do.) See, while I feel like writing comes naturally to me, I certainly don’t see it as easy, no matter what type of writing I’m doing. Maybe I’ll have a fantastic, fleshed out idea for something, so it’ll flow more quickly than another project I’m struggling with, but I’ve never found form to have much to do with that. Short story, play, screenplay – it depends on the idea.

Wait…I feel like I should backtrack.

Okay, I’m gonna tell you what I was gonna tell you, and then I’ll explain why it’s a lie anyway.

I was going to say, “So I find it more humorous than anything when a novelist, for example, tries their hand at playwriting for the first time and says it’s SO EASY! Or vice versa.”

And I was going to say, “Rather than some writers who may be committed to one form and get offended and defensive about these sorts of statements.”

But then after I started writing this, I realized, heck no I don’t just find it only funny. A part of me feels offended and defensive, and the size of that part varies daily. Because sometimes I’m just a huge snob and I don’t want to hear anyone saying any type of writing is SO EASY because it’s my ART, OKAY?! (And also I don’t want to hear about how you’re like, super succeeding at this EASY writing when I’m crying about not knowing where my play is going at 3am while eating an entire tray of vegan brownies and trying to explain to my dogs that I’m really FINE, STOP LICKING MY FACE.)

But I do feel somewhat drawn to arguments and drama (theatre kid, right here!), so maybe I should just say I like to watch writers get huffy about other writers telling them their form is easy and therefore less legit. And maybe I just think it’s so silly that one writer would even say that to another writer! Like, hello? Am I right?

WRONG.

Guys, I totally realized I was doing it! I was telling other writers (not to their faces or anything, but rather I was telling other writers by telling the WORLD) that what they do is easy.

About the Haiku poem!

I’d be all hanging out with friends or whatever and I’d start talking about how I like to write Haikus like, all the time, because they’re like, super quick and you can just like, think them up and jot them down and like, no big deal, I’m a Haiku artist. Like my Haikus are all so clever and meaningful. (Note: speech patterns exaggerated)

I could not find the Haiku I wanted to share with you all to demonstrate what an idiot I am, but I will tell you this: it was about a horse wearing one of those coats horses wear in cold or rainy weather. My Haiku was about a horse in a coat! (It took all of my strength to not put that in all caps, because I’m having a caps lock kind of day.)

But here’s another I found! Wouldn’t spare you! I wrote it in my first year of university.

Tiny, piercing cry /

Rushing through the pain, tears /

A new life begins.

Do you need a minute?!

Birth! Life! Pain! It’s a beautiful thing! Suffering! Society! OH MY GOD! 18-year-old me totally gets it!

And then I read real Haiku poetry like this:

The old pond;

A frog jumps in –

The sound of water

(By Matsuo Basho)

And I shut the hell up!

(And don’t ask me why those syllables don’t match up to the 5-7-5 format, because I know there’s a good reason but I clearly know nothing about Haiku.)

xA

*SIDENOTE. So the other day my friend was like, “I’m finally getting some muscle on my bird legs!” And I was like, “Bird legs?! Gorgeous thin legs! Try having HUGE CALVES!” And she was like, “But look at them! They’re beautifully muscled!” And I was just like, “They’re HUGE!”

So what I’m trying to say is, you try buying sexy boots when you have huge calves, all right?!

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